91. Counseling’s Secret Sauce: The Art of Mentoring New School Counseling Professionals

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host.

I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Carol: Hi everyone, it's Carol here. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat.

As always, I am so thankful that you are spending your time with me today and learning with us because we are better together.

Let's face it, we are just better together.

And having said that, I think that also is going to be the inspiration of our episode today. I think every week we kind of tackle big and small topics that help school counselors really thrive in your role.

But today we're really diving into the world of mentorship in school counseling. And if you're an experienced counselor, this episode is your call to action.

And if you're new to the field, well, this one is packed with insights just for you too. Because let's face it, starting out as a school counselor can really feel like jumping into a pool without checking if it's filled with water.

And that's where mentorship really comes in. Today we're going to explore how experienced school counselors can really mentor new ones, why it's so important, and how to make it a success.

I'm even going to break it down by the emotional phases that most new counselors experience.

Heck, I think it's not just new counselors, but counselors of whatever experience level can experience as well. And trust me, they are a roller coaster. So go ahead and grab your coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you going and let's just jump right in and get started.

So before we really talk about how to mentor effectively, let's try to put ourselves in the shoes of a new counselor. Remember when you were starting out, everything seemed so exciting until it wasn't.

It's kind of like you're starting the school counseling program. Maybe you're the first counselor the school has ever had, but no matter what, when you are brand spanking new, it's kind of like flying a plane and building it while it's in the air.

I mean, you are just trying to keep yourself off the ground without crashing.

But counselors do go through all kinds of phases, just like the emotional phases that new teachers have as well. And if you're mentoring someone, knowing about these emotional phases can really help make a huge difference.

I think when we first start off, there's that anticipation phase. This is where all the excitement really kicks in. They've got their new desk, maybe they even have freshly printed business cards.

And they have a binder full of plans. They're thinking, I'm going to change the world one kid at a time.

And as a mentor, this is the perfect time to encourage some goal setting. Because helping a new counselor channel all of that energy into practical plans so that when reality sets in, they're ready to go.

After the anticipation phase, you get into the survival phase. This is the reality check. Now counselors are juggling with parent emails, crisis situations, a school dance that somehow they got roped into, and they're thinking, wait, I didn't learn this in grad school.

Mentors, this is your time to shine. This is where you are going to be the calm voice in the chaos, sharing time saving strategies like how to deal with a hundred emails in under an hour.

Trust me, your mentees, they will thank you. After the survival phase, you have kind of a disillusionment phase.

This is the phase I think no one wants to talk about. They're exhausted, they're doubting themselves and they're wondering if they're even cut out for this job.

So you have to cue the self talk. Why didn't I just become a yoga instructor?

Maybe I should have went into healthcare instead, I don't know. But you need to cue that self talk because as a mentor, here is where you're going to make a huge impact.

You're going to listen, you're going to validate, and you're going to remind people why they started.

Sometimes all you need to say to someone is, you're doing better than you think.

After the disillusionment phase, we come to the rejuvenation phase. This is break time. Maybe it's winter break, spring break, or just that random PD day when they finally get the time to catch up.

They're starting to feel a little bit more hopeful and they're thinking, okay, maybe, just maybe, I can actually do this.

Here's the time to help them celebrate the small wins and remind them of their growth.

Mentors, it's your time to also encourage reflection and show them how far they've come.

And after the rejuvenation phase, we get into the reflection phase. The school year ends and they're Looking back on everything, they're proud of some things, but they're also wondering, why don't I try to do it all?

And as a mentor, this is the time to guide them through this reflection, help them really pinpoint what worked, what didn't, and when they want to really tackle next year.

Whether you are working with a brand new school counselor in your district like I am in mine, I'm a mentor for one of our brand new counselors that started in our district or whether you are picking up an intern or a practicum student, I think these phases, they all hit the newbies.

And so we need to work with them, we need to help them through all these phases, all these challenges that they're going to encounter and we're going to really show them kind of a roadmap to navigating all the things that lie ahead of them.

So now that we can understand this really this emotional roller coaster, let's talk some strategy. How do you actually mentor a new counselor? So I came up with seven steps to success because after all, who doesn't like a really good list?

I think the first is to build a strong relationship. You have to start with trust. No matter what, you need trust in that relationship. So offer regular check ins, coffee chats, or just a quick hey, how's it going?

Because that can make a world of difference.

Show them that you care and bring some regularity to your mentee mentorship program.

One of the things I think can be really helpful too is setting up a consistent schedule to meet, to check in, to say, hey, what's, what's going on? But taking that time and letting them know that, hey, these times that we came up with together really shows that you are working together, that you are building that relationship.

I think you also need to step two is clarify some roles and expectations.

This isn't a guessing game. You have to be clear really about what mentoring looks like. Are you their go to for everything or just professional advice or are you there to model and then have them take it over?

You need to set the tone early and really clarify those roles, those expectations. And if you're working with an intern or a practicum student, you need to let them know exactly, like maybe what their caseload is, like, how you want to deal with lessons.

Are they going to be like taking charge of things on their own or are you going to gradually wean them into everything?

Step three is to really provide practical resources. You want to be the Oprah of counseling tools. You get a lesson plan and you get some time management hacks. You're going to share your templates, your scripts, and anything that can make their life easier.

Step four is to model best practices.

You want to invite them to shadow you during some tricky situations and let them see how you handle tough conversations, maybe manage time and still somehow find a moment to breathe.

I think when we model these practices that we've become good at, it helps our newer counselors understand that things are going to be tricky, but there's a way through.

And hopefully when we model these best practices, we're not going to lose the new counselors to burnout along the way.

Step five is to really foster that reflective practice. You need to encourage your mentees to journal or talk through their experiences.

Write down, have them write down what it is that they did. When they did it is another thing. So here's what I did, here's when I did it, here's the next step.

And then also, oh my gosh, these are the challenges that I face. Or now that it's over, did I need more time to get it done, or did I need more help?

Or what could have made it better?

What went really well? What do I want to change next year?

Because reflection is where growth happens.

And after all, you're there to help guide it.

Step six is to celebrate milestones.

Is this your first parent meeting?

Nailed it. First crisis, handled. Amazing.

Celebrate every win, whether it's big or small, they deserve it and it builds confidence.

And I think too often we get so siloed into doing our own thing, we really forget that milestones should be celebrated, our wins should be celebrated.

We have victories more than we actually, I think, care to admit. And because we don't celebrate them enough, I think we feel sometimes that we're not doing enough.

We have to get used to celebrating.

And it doesn't have to be a big, like, let's throw a party type of celebration, but we need to acknowledge that we made a difference.

Step seven is to encourage professional development.

Point your person towards webinars, towards conferences, networking opportunities. Because let's face it, growth doesn't stop after grad school. And if you need a really good conference, maybe they can afford the Ask a conference or even your state conference.

I mean, I do run a virtual summer counselor conference every year where thousands of counselors from across the globe attend. And it's good stuff. We have national presenters presenting at this conference, so encourage them to join that and then they could do it on their own time and not just during the summer.

The other important thing as we're talking about all of this is to really use the AFSCA school counselor professional standards and competencies.

Because ASCA has really come up with these standards and competencies to outline the mindsets and the behaviors for not just our students, but for us as school counselors so that we can meet the rigorous demands of our profession and the needs of our students.

The standards. I have to admit, I didn't go back to home for a really long time. I knew that they were out there. I looked at them way back in the day.

But there's a lot of good information in there, a lot of good reminders of what we should be doing and how we should be doing it, and how when we follow some of these guidelines, it really sets us up for success.

So knowing that there's behaviors for a professional foundation, for direct and indirect services, and for planning and assessment can really help guide our mentoring that we do with our new counselors.

Because we want them to really apply developmental learning, counseling and educational theories into their practice. We want them to have an understanding of the educational system, maybe legal issues, policies, research and trends.

That we should really be looking at ethical and legal principles as we are counseling students or putting together a counseling program that we are using the mindsets and behaviors with our students and that's driving our program.

And we also want them to understand the impact of cultural, social, and environmental influences on student success and the opportunities for them.

We also want them to understand that there's leadership.

And we are leaders as school counselors. And when we develop a school counseling program, we are actually building something for kids. But it's through our leadership. And when we are mentoring, we are training a new set of leaders.

So go back to these competencies because I think they're a really good framework for how we can actually be helpful. And they cover everything from the direct and indirect services to the professional foundation that I was just kind of talking about, and the planning and assessment as well.

Right.

Maybe it's how we use our time appropriately, or do we develop outcome goals, or we identify gaps in achievement. So we're going to use this when we're mentoring as well.

Now, one of the other things I did is I talked to a few experienced mentors, and I gathered a few nuggets of wisdom from the counselors who've been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale.

And here's what they had to say.

The best advice I gave my mentee was to remember that you can't pour from an empty cup.

Self care isn't optional. It's survival.

Another mentor said, I always tell new counselors, if you don't know, just say that you don't know. No one expects you to have all the answers.

And the last piece of advice that I got from a mentor was mentoring isn't just about giving advice. It's about listening and helping them find their own solutions.

That's so true. Right? Mentoring isn't about being perfect.

It's really all about being present.

So here's the bottom line. Mentorship is powerful. It's also a way to pay it forward, to strengthen our profession and really ensure that our new counselors feel supported.

Remember, even if you're juggling a thousand things, taking the time to mentor someone else can be one of the most rewarding parts of your job. So if you're an experienced counselor, I challenge you.

Reach out to a new counselor in your school or your district.

And if you're new to the field, don't be afraid to ask for help.

As I said before, we're all in this together and we are better together.

So, my friends, thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning in to this episode of Counselor Chat. If you are an experienced counselor, I really do hope that you take the time to mentor someone that's new or maybe take on an intern or practicum student.

And if you're a newbie, remember, just ask for help.

There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it will be probably one of the best things that you have done for yourself because we need you. We can't have. We can't afford to have you quitting the profession, running the other way and saying, oh my gosh, this is too much.

We need you. You make a difference, my friends. You are doing awesome work out there. I know you are.

I know what you're going through because I'm doing it right there with you.

So give yourself a pat on the back.

It's almost break time by the time this episode comes out, so enjoy your little mini vacation and until next time, have a great week. Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org

podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe.

Carol: On your favorite podcast player.

Carol: And if you would be so kind.

Carol: To leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Carol: Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at counselingessentials. Until next time. Can't wait till we chat.

Carol: Bye for now.