128. Collaborating with Admin Without Feeling Like the “Other” Team

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling Essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place. Because we're better together.

Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Hey there, Counselor Chat listeners.

I'm Carol Miller and welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat.

This is the podcast where we talk all things school counseling,

from lessons and group to leadership and laughter.

Today's episode is one that I think a lot of us need,

especially at the start of the year when we're building or even rebuilding relationships with our school administrators.

I mean, we're talking about collaborating with our admin without feeling like the other team.

If you've ever felt like you're speaking a different language than your principal,

if you've ever sat through a leadership meeting thinking they just don't get what I do,

or if you've ever been asked to cover lunch duty, subclass,

or just check in On a student 10 minutes before dismissal,

you are not alone.

But here's the thing.

We don't have to be on separate teams.

I mean, we can build bridges through our language, through mindset,

on with a little strategy that actually strengthens our working relationship and help everyone win.

So with that, my friends, let's dig in.

Let's start with the mindset reset.

I mean, too often we,

I mean school counselors come into conversations with administration already bracing for the no or already feeling like we're undervalued or we're misunderstood.

But here's the truth.

You are not an extra.

You are not the emotional cleanup crew,

and you are not the person that they call when they don't know what else to do.

You, my friends,

you are a leader.

You are a trained mental health professional.

You are an instructional partner,

a student advocate,

a data source,

a systemic thinker.

And when we lead from that identity,

when we show up with solutions,

strategy and collaboration,

we stop being the other team and we start being an essential member of the leadership team.

So let's talk language.

Here's a phrase I hear counselors say all the time.

ASCA says I shouldn't be doing lunch duty.

And while that's technically true,

ASCA outlines appropriate and Inappropriate duties.

It's not always the most effective way to get admin buy in.

I mean, it can come across as inflexible or even defensive,

even though our intentions are good.

So instead of saying asuka says I shouldn't be doing lunch duty,

try this instead.

I could really help with that attendance initiative you're working on if I could use that time for lunch bunch groups. I've noticed several students who are struggling to come to school consistently and lunch groups, they would be a great way to build connections and motivation.

The best way for me to tackle that though would be to step away from lunch duty so I can facilitate those groups.

My friends,

do you see the difference?

You're not saying no.

You're saying yes to something better.

You're offering a trade up that benefits students and aligns with school goals.

Here's another mindset shift,

and this one is a game changer.

Start looking at your work through the lens of your principal's priorities.

Because most administrators, they're focused on attendance,

academic achievement,

behavior and discipline,

family and community engagement data,

accountability and compliance.

Now here's what I want you to ask yourself.

How does your school counseling program support those goals?

Because it does.

And when you align your language and strategies with those school wide goals,

you stop being the emotions person and you start being the impact person.

So let's try another language swap.

Instead of saying, I want to start a kindness group for third grade girls,

try this.

I've noticed an increase in peer conflict among third grade girls. And I think a small group focused on empathy and healthy communication could really reduce the number of behavioral referrals we're seeing.

I'd like to start this next week.

Do you think that would align with what you're seeing too?

Boom. My friends, you just aligned your idea with admin's goals and showed that you're using data and observation to make informed decisions.

Now, sometimes admin doesn't support us,

but they still have competing demands. They might say, that sounds like a good idea,

but we still need someone in the cafeteria.

So here's a strategy. Be ready with a plan B.

So I'm going to give you some more wording here. Are you ready?

I totally understand that coverage is tough.

Would it help if I trained a paraprofessional to support those groups? Or could I run two sessions a week to reach more students without needing daily coverage?

I want to support both our goals.

And when you come with a plan instead of just a problem,

you're much more likely to get a yes.

Here's Another language swap.

Let's say you're being asked to do something clearly outside your scope,

like testing coordination or long term subbing.

Instead of saying that's not my job,

try.

I want to make sure I'm maximizing my time to meet student needs.

If I take on that responsibility, I have to pause some of my tier two groups and delay my classroom lessons.

Would it be helpful to sit down and look at how we can balance those needs together?

Now, my friends, you're inviting collaboration,

not confrontation.

You are holding still to your boundaries,

but in a way that shows your commitment to your students,

not just your own schedule.

And I can tell you from personal experience,

this works because when I was the AP exam coordinator,

I used this phrase to make sure that I no longer had to proctor every single AP exam because I really had to put my whole program and back at that time, I was the sole counselor in a building of 480 students.

I had to pause my entire program.

There was no way I could do it all. Not to mention I was losing out time on not just my groups, but programming students for classes for the following year.

I mean, with 480 kids, there's a lot of kids to sit down with individually and make sure that they have what they need to graduate on time.

And so by sitting down and having this conversation with my principal,

we were able to hire and train a sub for this period of time that came in and did all the AP testing.

I would still walk them over to where our testing location was. We actually had it a church across the street from our, our school because they had a nice little area inside that was broken down into different rooms and classrooms and things like that.

We would use that space because it was so nice and quiet.

And the bingo hall would be for the, the main groups. If we had a, like a big group like us,

like history or calculus or something like that.

And then we would use the small classrooms for like our music theory groups or some of the language things.

So.

But we were able to train people and that made things just way more easier.

Now here's another little tip.

Bring data, not just feelings.

I know it's one more thing to track, but having even simple data can make your case so much stronger.

Imagine this.

You say,

I need more time for individual counseling.

But think about this. Imagine yourself saying,

in the last two weeks, I've had 18 individual counseling sessions with students struggling with grief, anxiety and peer conflict. If I had an additional half hour each day,

I could see four more students a week.

Which one is More compelling.

I mean, bring the numbers, bring the impact,

and bring the results.

Because data, my friend, tells the story of your value.

And I have one more final mindset shift for you.

Assume positive intent.

And I mean this one. It's probably the hardest sometimes, but it helps because most administrators, they're. They're not trying to derail your program.

They're dealing with 500 fires a day,

and they need solutions fast.

And sometimes we just have to translate what we do into a language they understand.

So instead of waiting to be invited to the table,

pull up a chair,

bring your calculator, bring your data, bring your passion, and say,

here's how I can help us meet our goals this quarter.

Want to look at this together?

So my final thoughts on this, my friends,

collaborating with administration doesn't mean being passive.

It means being strategic, being aligned, and being solution focused.

You're not the other team.

You're part of the success team.

And when you shift your mindset, you adjust your language, and you come with solutions, you stop reacting, and you start leading.

So this week,

I'm going to challenge you to have a sure, intentional conversation with your admin.

Highlight something you've noticed,

offer a solution,

and ask to collaborate.

And if you need a little pep talk before you do it,

rewind this episode and play it again.

I'll be right here cheering you on because you've got this.

Well, that wraps up today's episode of Counsel Chat.

If this episode,

if it resonated with you, please share it with a colleague or better yet, with your admin.

And if you need a little pep talk,

feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or Instagram @CounselingEssentials.

And let's have a little chat.

But keep showing up, my friends. Keep shining bright. And remember, you belong at the table.

Until next time. I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat.

All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast.

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Want to connect?

Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat.

Bye for now.