166. Summer Series-What I Wish I Had Done Earlier: Invest in My Future

You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place because we're better together.

Ready to chat.

Let's dive in.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat. I'm your host, Carol Miller. And today we're kicking off what might become a little miniseries.

And I'm going to call this what I Wish I had done earlier, earlier in my school Counseling career.

Now, my friends,

I am well past year 30 and I'm still going strong. But there are so many things,

so very many things that I really wish that I had done differently or just earlier in my school counseling career.

And a lot of these things I see in school counselors in their Facebook posts. So I just want to put this out there and just start some of these conversations because I think they're important to be had and let's, let's just get it out there in the open.

All right?

Now also,

let me just say this right from the start,

this is not going to be one of those episodes or where I sit here and I pretend that I had everything all figured out.

Because trust me,

I did not.

I did not.

Not even close.

In fact, I think the whole point of this series is to look back at some of the things I learned along the way.

The things I wish somebody had pulled me aside and said,

carol, you might want to think about this sooner rather than later.

And not in a scary way, not in a shame filled way,

just in a your future, you will thank you kind of way.

And today's topic is one that I honestly do not think we talk about enough in education,

especially not enough in school counseling.

Today, my friends, we are talking about investing in your future.

And yes, I mean that in a couple ways.

I mean investing in your financial future,

I mean thinking about your retirement,

I mean asking questions about accounts and savings and all the things that can feel confusing, overwhelming, boring,

intimidating, or like something you'll want to get to later. Because trust me, this was one of the things I wished that I really done right from day one.

But I kept pushing it off.

But I also mean investing in the version of yourself who's going to be doing this work 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now.

Because here is one of the things I wish I really understood sooner.

I was so busy helping students thinking about their futures that I sometimes forgot to think about mine.

And maybe you can relate to that.

We talk with students about goals.

We help them think about their options.

We talk about career pathways and college choices,

military options,

trade strengths, values,

and the kinds of lives that they want to build.

We encourage them to look ahead.

And we remind them that the decisions that they make now can open doors later on. Yet if I'm being completely honest,

there are parts of my own future that I did not pay nearly enough attention to early in my career.

That's right,

when it came time to saving,

retirement and investing,

I just wasn't all about that.

Now, before we go any further, let me say this very clearly.

I am not a financial advisor, and I am definitely not your financial advisor.

I'm barely my own financial advisor. In fact, I'm not. I paid for one.

Well,

I don't really. I guess I do pay for them, but it's through my investment accounts.

And I'm not here to tell you what account to open, what company to use,

what investments to choose, or what percentage of your paycheck needs to go where.

Because my friends, that's not my lane at all.

But my lane is this.

I'm your counselor friend saying, please do not wait years and years to start asking these questions.

Like I said when I started this podcast episode, I am. I have been doing this for more than 30 years.

People ask me all the time, you have your 30 years in. You're like closer to 35. When are you finally going to retire?

And as my husband says,

you can retire when the amount in your retirement account can support your lifestyle and you can live.

And I hate that,

but I love them for it at the same time.

So please do not wait until you're overwhelmed or panicked.

Please do not assume that just because you have a pension or because you work in education,

or because retirement feels so far away that you do not need to pay attention.

And please do not let confusion keep you from starting.

Because this is what happens to a lot of us.

We don't know where to begin.

So we just don't begin.

When I first got my job, my very first job,

I wasn't making a whole ton of money.

My first job was in the Newburgh and Large City School district in Newburgh, New York.

And I think my salary was a whopping $32,000 a year and my parents, neither one of them had a ton in college.

And in fact my dad had dropped out of high school so that he could actually join World War II.

So my parents were older,

they didn't have an education,

they really did not make a lot of money.

My father died when I was 10 and my mom was forced into the workforce right after that time to just try to make ends meet so that we could survive.

So we lived paycheck to paycheck,

kind of hand to mouth.

So when I first started working and I had that paycheck,

boy, it was exciting. It was exciting to go and buy something new for myself, some new clothes.

Because before that,

you know, thrift stores and the Salvation army, they were my friends.

And I said, oh, I can just remember, I want to buy myself a nice necklace.

Because I didn't ever really have a nice necklace.

And so I picked one out.

And then I remember I had a credit card because they gave me one.

And then I had debt.

And then the next couple of years it was like, oh my gosh, how do I pay this debt off? Because I'm not really making enough here to pay for my debt.

And I still have student loans and I still have,

you know, a car payment to pay off and insurance. And you know, my mom's saying, oh, if you're going to invest in something, buy a house, buy a house.

And I can remember going to look at houses and they're like, yeah, we'll give you a mortgage for $30,000.

And I kept thinking, what am I going to buy for $30,000?

Like there's nothing available.

So I didn't save,

I didn't know what to do.

And I just kept thinking, if I have barely enough to live on, how am I going to save anything?

And I think that happens to a lot of us.

We are so worried about what bills that we're going to pay or the next thing that we have to fund that we don't really stop and plan for that long term investment.

Not to mention we hear terms like 403 or a Roth IRA or traditional IRA, pensions, deferred compensation,

compound interest,

index funds, beneficiaries, pre tax after tax.

And our brains just say,

no thank you,

because really I have a classroom lesson in 10 minutes and a student crying in my office,

I don't have time to think about all of this.

So we just push it off.

We keep saying to ourselves, I'll figure that one out later.

And later becomes next year and then the year after that,

and then we get married. And so we need money for that.

And then we have children and we need money for them.

And then Suddenly you are 15 or 20 years into your career thinking, wait, should I have been doing something this whole time?

And my friends, that.

That is the feeling that I want to help someone avoid.

Not with shame, not with panic,

but with awareness.

Because once we know better,

we can take one small next step.

And that is really what this episode is all about.

Not become a fi. Not becoming a financial expert,

not doing everything perfectly,

but taking one small step toward caring for your future self.

Now, I think part of the reason this topic gets overlooked is because when we first started school counselors, there's so much to learn.

We're trying to figure out a role. We're trying to learn the building.

We are trying to understand our administrator's expectations.

We're figuring out the master schedule, classroom lessons, crisis Response, parent meetings, 504s, referrals, groups, documentation,

and don't forget, where do they keep the copier paper?

And if you're anything like me, you're. You're probably also trying really hard to prove yourself.

You want people to know you're helpful. You want them to know you care. You want to be seen as dependable and capable and flexible.

And in those early years,

it can feel like the urgent things take up every bit of space.

Student needs you right now. A teacher is asking for help right now.

A parent email needs a response.

Not yesterday,

not tomorrow,

right now.

And a crisis lands in your office.

So retirement, investing,

looking at your benefits,

reading all the paperwork,

calling someone to ask questions, or headed down to the teacher's room to talk to the investment guys who are sitting there.

Just seems like you don't have time for it.

And it doesn't feel urgent.

And when it doesn't feel urgent, it's really easy to ignore.

But here's the thing I've learned.

Just because something isn't urgent doesn't mean it's not important.

And I think that is one of the biggest lessons from this topic.

Future you things.

They rarely scream for your attention.

They kind of whisper.

They sit quietly in the background.

They do not interrupt your day the way a crisis does.

They do not show up in your office door.

They do not send you five emails before lunch.

But they matter.

They matter a lot.

And financial future planning is one of those things that your future self will either be really glad you paid attention to or really wish that you had started sooner.

Again,

no shame.

Many of us were just not taught this.

It's certainly not a class that you take in grad school.

And many of us entered education because we wanted to help people,

not because we were sitting around excited to read retirement documents.

And many of us came into the profession thinking, well, I have a pension, so I'm good.

That's what I thought.

And maybe you are.

Maybe your pension is strong.

I mean, I'm in New York, our pension is pretty good.

And I work for a district where I'm going to have some really great health benefits.

And maybe you're already doing all the things and it's so wonderful.

But even with the strongest pension and having great benefits,

is it enough?

Is it enough to take care of you when inflation keeps going up?

When you still might have a mortgage to pay for when you want to retire?

When your pension salary is only maybe between 50 and 60% of your salary right now?

And I think about my last 10 years and the amount that my salary has increased in the last 10 years alone,

well, let me tell you, when I retire, I'm planning on lasting more than just 10 years.

So that money, it's really gotta last.

For many educators and counselors,

there's so much to understand.

Now, you might have some options through your employer.

There may be supplemental retirement accounts.

There may be questions about how much you are contributing.

There may be fees. You don't understand.

I know when I started, I was like,

I don't think I can afford this. Like, how much do I even put in?

And I'm going to be really honest with you, when I first started my account, it was only about 15 years ago,

and I started with just $50 a pay period.

And that seemed like a lot until I started paying it. And then I realized,

oh,

I guess because it comes out automatically, I guess I'm really not missing it.

And then from there, I have been slowly able to increase that amount once again,

when it's not coming home to you,

you really don't miss it as much.

So,

my friends,

there might have been even some things that you signed up for years ago and you haven't looked at them since there might be opportunities that you do not even know are available to you.

All of this stuff is really what I wish I had done earlier.

I wish I had asked more questions. I wish I had learned the language,

and I wish I had sat down with someone knowledgeable and said, can you explain this to me? Like I'm brand new.

Which is exactly what I did when I finally did sit down with the retirement guy at school.

And now I go to his office in the Summer. And I meet with him yearly,

and he goes over my whole portfolio.

It's kind of funny to think I have a portfolio, because 15 years ago, I didn't even know what a portfolio was.

And I know we all think I can't contribute anything, so why bother?

But like I said,

small steps, they matter.

I mean, we tell our students this all the time.

We tell them that effort adds up.

We tell them that the habits matter.

We tell them that showing up consistently makes a difference.

And yet we also forget that the same thing applies to us.

A really small contribution early can be powerful because time is one of your biggest advantages that you have.

My kids right now,

my oldest is now a diesel mechanic. He works for the state of New York.

My other one is an Amazon reseller, and he's in college.

And Charlie, you probably have heard me talk about my son Charlie. Charlie's in. He's starting grad school. He just graduated,

and he's going to grad school.

And every time that they make money, I'm like, okay, we gotta go Visit our friend CJ.

CJ's our financial guy.

We're gonna put some money in and we're gonna invest it,

because I want them to be able to retire early. I want them to be set up with the things that I didn't have when I was their age.

So time, my friends,

time is one of the biggest advantages that you have.

Time lets things grow.

Time lets small habits become meaningful.

Time gives you options.

And honestly, options are what so much of this is all about.

When we are younger,

we might not be thinking about retirement in a really real way.

I mean, it feels abstract.

It feels far away.

It feels like something that belongs to another version of us.

But eventually that version of us gets closer.

I think I told you guys earlier this season,

I did a lesson with my fifth graders,

well, my fourth graders,

of how long is a lifetime?

And we looked at how fast life time goes,

and we actually looked at how many years of working does the average person work.

And it's 42 years.

Well, maybe they wouldn't have to work 42 years if they had started in an investment account earlier.

So think about that.

And some of you. I know when I read the Facebook groups, you're thinking, I'm in year two. I don't know if I can make it through to year 30.

Well,

you have to start thinking about these things,

because eventually the future,

we find ourselves right in it.

And if we start to think about the type of retirement that we want,

the lifestyle that we want to have.

We're going to be able to plan for that.

And that planning,

it gives us options.

And maybe that option is to reduce our stress.

Maybe it means that we want to have the option to travel, to help family, pursue hobbies,

volunteer,

start a business,

or simply not have to worry quite as much.

Maybe it just means having a little bit more breathing room.

I like the idea that choices I make now can help future me exhale just a little bit.

But here's a part I want to be really honest with too.

For a lot of us, money brings up feelings.

It's not just numbers. It can bring up fear,

embarrassment, avoidance,

confusion, regret,

comparison,

and sometimes guilt.

When I first started saving,

I did feel guilty. I felt like I was taking money away from my kids to save for my future self,

but also not having a lot of money to put into retirement thing.

I was a little embarrassed by that as well.

Embarrassed that I had waited so long, embarrassed that my amount that I was contributing was so small.

So you can have all the feels,

and if you feel like maybe you should already have more,

or maybe you feel behind,

or maybe you have avoided looking into retirement and things like that because you're afraid of what you'll find.

Maybe you have debt,

maybe you have family responsibilities,

maybe you have kids in college,

maybe your budget is tight,

maybe you are doing the best you can and there's not much extra at the end of the month.

So I want to say this very clearly.

This episode, my friends, is not about making you feel bad.

It's not about telling you that you should have done more.

It's not about pretending everyone has the same financial reality.

Because quite simply,

we do not.

We all have different circumstances,

different family situations, different salaries, different debt loads,

different expenses,

different levels of support, and different histories with money.

So please hear this episode as an invitation,

not as a judgment.

It's an invitation to look,

an invitation to ask,

an invitation to learn one thing,

an invitation to take one next step.

Because sometimes that is where change begins.

Not with a giant overhaul,

just with one brave little question.

You ready for it?

What retirement options do I have?

You could follow it up with,

what am I already contributing?

What happens if I increase it a little?

What fees am I paying?

Who can explain this to me?

What does my pension actually look like?

Do I have beneficiaries listed?

Do I understand the difference between the accounts available to me?

What would I tell a friend to do if they were avoiding this?

And maybe the most important question,

what does future me need from current me?

And that question that One can apply to money,

but it can also apply to almost everything in our counseling lives.

What does future me need from current me?

Future me might need me to save a little.

Future me might need me to set a boundary.

Future me might need me to stop saying yes to every single thing.

Future me might need me to go to the training,

might need me to document better.

It might need me to stop eating lunch at my desk every single day.

It might need me just to eat lunch instead of skipping it.

And future me might need me to build systems instead of surviving on sticky notes and adrenaline.

Maybe a cup of coffee or two.

And that is why I think this topic belongs on Counselor Chat.

Because yes, it's about retirement accounts,

but it's also about sustainability.

It's remembering that you are a person with a future, too.

You are not just the person who helps everyone else make a plan.

You deserve a plan.

You deserve support.

You deserve to understand your options,

and you deserve to ask questions without feeling silly.

And you, my friends, deserve to invest in a life that extends beyond the school building.

Now, if there can be this weird thing in helping professions where we almost feel guilty focusing on ourselves,

I think we've got that covered.

I mean, we're so used to giving.

We're used to be the one being calm,

the helper, the fixer, the problem solver, the person who says, I got it.

And sometimes taking care of ourself can feel. Feel selfish,

but it's not. It's responsible, it's wise,

and it's necessary if we want to stay in this work and not lose ourselves in the process.

I think back to my younger self,

that younger Carol and I have so much compassion for her.

She was doing the best she could.

She cared deeply. She worked hard.

She wanted to be good at her job.

She wanted to support students and teachers and families.

And she didn't always think about herself as someone worth planning for.

And maybe that's the part that makes me pause.

Because if I could go back,

I would not shame her.

I would not say, how could you not know this?

But I would say, you are doing a lot. But you matter too.

Your future matters.

And so take a little time to learn this.

Ask the questions, open the account,

read the paperwork,

call the person.

Do not wait because you'll feel embarrassed.

Do not wait because it feels confusing.

Do not wait because retirement just seems so far away.

Just start.

And maybe that is what someone listening today needs to hear.

Just start.

Start by logging into whatever system your district uses.

Start by looking at your paycheck. And seeing what's coming out.

Start by finding out whether you have access to a 403 or 457 or another retirement option through your employer.

Start by learning what your pension system says about your years of service and maybe even if you can buy back service,

because that was something I didn't know that I could do either.

And I bought back all the service from when I worked in the little residential life office in campus when I went to SUNY Albany as a college student.

And I also bought back a few years from lifeguarding at the county pool.

So learn what your pension system says about your years of service.

Ask HR who you can contact.

Start talking to a reputable financial professional.

Start by using trusted educational resources.

Start by writing down your questions.

Start by making an appointment.

And start by looking at the thing that you have been avoiding.

Not all of it, just the first piece.

Because sometimes the first step is not even financial.

Sometimes the first step is emotional.

It's saying,

I am allowed to learn this. I'm allowed to ask for help. I'm allowed to take care of my future.

I do not have to know everything before I begin.

Now, I want to be careful here because I know every state district and retirement system is different.

Some of you have pensions.

Some of you have different options through your district.

Some of you may work in private schools or agencies.

Some of you may be part time.

Some of you might have a spouse or partner with a different retirement system.

And some of you have no idea what you have.

And again,

that's okay.

The goal of this episode is not for you to walk away with every answer.

The goal is for you to walk away with enough curiosity and courage to ask better questions. That's it.

And honestly, we know how to do this. And as counselors, we teach students to break big things into smaller pieces all the time.

We don't tell a student, figure it out,

or figure out your entire life plan by tomorrow.

Well, hopefully we don't do that.

We'll say, let's start with your interest.

Let's look at your strengths.

Let's explore some options. Let's ask questions.

Let's make one small goal.

Let's give ourselves the same grace.

You don't have to figure out your entire financial life and one afternoon.

You do not have to become an expert.

You don't have to understand every acronym. Today,

fact. I still don't know the difference between all of them.

I just let the guy do it.

You just need to take one step.

And maybe for you, the step is simply admitting I have avoided this because it makes me uncomfortable.

That counts.

Awareness counts.

Maybe the step is asking a colleague, do you contribute to a supplemental retirement account?

How did you learn about it?

Maybe the step is emailing hr.

Maybe it's attending a retirement workshop.

Maybe the step is finding out whether your union, your state counseling association,

your district, or your retirement system offers education sessions.

Maybe the next step is talking to someone who can explain your options without pressuring you.

Maybe the step is just updating beneficiaries or starting an emergency fund.

Now, because this is counselor chat, I want to bring this back to our work with students for a minute.

One of the reasons this topic matters so much is because our students are watching how adults live.

Not necessarily the details of our financial planning, of course, but they're watching whether adults seemed overwhelmed.

They're watching us make intentional choices.

They're watching whether we model problem solving.

They are watching whether we avoid hard things or face them.

And when we learn to care for our own futures, we become better at helping students imagine theirs.

Not because we have it all figured out.

Not because we were practicing what we teach well. Not because we have it all figured out,

but because we are practicing what we teach. We're practicing goal setting. We're practicing delayed gratification.

We're practicing asking for help and practicing future planning.

Those are all counseling skills.

They just happen to be pointed back at ourselves.

There is also something powerful about recognizing that our careers are long.

Or at least we hope they can be long in a really healthy way.

But longevity? It doesn't happen by accident.

We do not just stumble in a sustain into a sustainable career.

We build it.

We build it through boundaries,

through professional development, through relationships, through reflection.

And yet we build it through practical things like understanding our benefits and planning financially.

Because burnout is not only emotional.

Sometimes burnout is connected to feeling trapped,

feeling like you don't have choices,

feeling like you cannot make a change because you did not plan for one.

Feeling like you have to keep going at the same pace forever. And while money does not solve everything,

having more clarity around your future can give you a sense of agency.

It can help you feel less helpless.

It can help you make decisions from a place of information instead of avoidance.

And that matters.

So if I were talking to a brand new counselor,

or honestly, any counselor who has been avoiding this,

here is what I would say.

Number one,

do not be embarrassed.

So many smart, capable,

wonderful educators do not understand their retirement options.

It doesn't mean you're irresponsible.

It means no one may have taught you.

And number two,

start earlier than feels necessary.

Because when it comes to saving and investing,

time is a powerful tool.

And the earlier you start learning and making informed choices, the more time your future self has to benefit.

And number three,

ask questions until you understand.

Do not nod politely if you're confused.

Do not pretend to understand words you don't understand.

Ask someone to explain it again.

Ask them to draw it out. Ask them for definitions.

Ask them what the risks are, the fees are, what happens if you change jobs,

if you retire early or later,

and what choices you have.

And number four,

be careful who you trust.

This is important.

Not everyone who talks about retirement is automatically the right person for you.

Look for reputable sources.

Understand whether someone is educating you or selling you something.

Ask about fees, credentials. Talk to people you trust.

Use official resources when possible.

And number five,

just do something.

Even if it's small.

Maybe especially if it's small,

because small steps build momentum and momentum can change the way you see yourself. You go from I don't know anything about this to I'm learning.

And you go from I should probably deal with that some someday to I took one step and that one step, it matters.

Now, as I say all of this, I want to acknowledge that money conversations can feel very different depending on your stage of life.

If you are a newer counselor, you might be thinking,

I can barely afford groceries and student loans and childcare and gas and life.

Trust me, I hear you.

So start with learning.

Start with understanding what's available.

Start with the tiny steps.

Tiny is what you can do.

And if you're a mid career, you might be thinking, oh no, I should have started sooner.

Take a breath.

Shame is not a strategy.

You can't go back.

All you can do is begin from where you are.

And if you're later in your career, you might be thinking, I need to get serious about this.

And then get serious. But do it with support.

Ask the questions, gather information,

and make it a plan.

The best time to start may have been earlier,

but the next best time is right now.

And I know this sounds like something that you probably would see on a mug or a motivational poster, but it's true.

Now, one of the things I want to emphasize is that investing in your future does not only mean investing money,

because there are other ways we can invest too.

By learning. By going to trainings,

by building a network,

by creating systems that make our job easier. By investing and taking care of our health,

by protecting our time.

We invest by becoming the kind of counselor who can keep growing instead of just surviving.

And so while this episode is really focused on financial future planning,

I want you to hear the bigger message underneath it.

You are allowed to think long term.

You are allowed to make decisions that benefit not just your students today, but your life later.

And you are allowed to care about your own future.

And I think sometimes counselors need permission to do that.

So here it is.

Permission granted.

You can care deeply about your students and still care about your retirement.

You can be committed to your school and still make smart choices for your own life.

You can serve others and still plan for yourself.

You can be generous without giving away your entire future.

And you can be a wonderful counselor without sacrificing every part of yourself.

And if no one told you early in your career, let me tell you now,

your future matters.

I want to give you a really simple reflection activity before we wrap up.

It's nothing complicated, so don't freak out.

Just a few questions you might want to jot down or think about later.

Here's the first one. Question one,

what is one thing I do understand about my retirement or financial future?

Start with what you know.

Maybe you have a pension. Maybe you know you contribute to something.

Maybe you know you do not. You don't contribute yet,

but that's still information.

Here's question 2.

What is one thing I do not understand yet?

Maybe it's your pension formula.

Maybe it's whether your district offers supplemental accounts.

Maybe it's the difference between different types of retirement savings.

Maybe it's how much you're currently contributing.

Maybe it's who to call.

And question three,

who can help me get accurate information?

Is it hr?

Is it your financial or your retirement system? A financial professional,

your union, a trusted colleague,

a workshop,

an official website.

And question four,

what is one small step I can take this month?

Not this year, not Sunday,

this month?

Make the call, send the email, open the account,

check the paycheck,

register for the workshop, read the statement,

write down your questions.

One small step.

And question five,

what would future me thank me for doing now?

And I really love that question,

what would future me thank me for doing now?

Because sometimes we make better choices when we imagine ourselves receiving the benefit later.

Future me might say, thank you for starting.

Thank you for asking.

Thank you for not ignoring this.

Thank you for believing I was worth planning for.

And you are.

You are so worth planning for.

So as we wrap up today, I want to bring us back to the title of the episode,

what I Wish I had Done earlier,

Invest in My Future.

I really wish I had started sooner. I wished I asked more questions. And I wish I had understood that small, small steps matter.

And I wish I had realized that taking care of my future self was not selfish,

it was necessary.

And if you're listening and thinking,

okay Carol, I needed this little push,

then let this be your gentle nudge. No shame,

no panic,

just one small step,

future you is worth it.

And my friends until next time.

I really hope you have a great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast.

Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player and if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

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Bye for now.