165. Celebrating Growth (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like Enough)

You're listening to the Counselor Chat Podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind Counseling Essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

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Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Council Chat. It's Carol here,

and today we're talking about something that I think school counselors really struggle with this time of year,

and that's celebrating growth even when it doesn't feel big enough.

Because let's be honest, at the end of the school year, it's really easy to focus on the students we couldn't reach, the goals we didn't fully accomplish,

the interventions that didn't magically fix everything,

and all the things still left undone.

And meanwhile, we completely overlook the quiet growth happening right in front of us.

The student who now asked for help instead of shutting down,

the student who came to our office more consistently,

the student who made one friend,

and the student who finally believes that they might have a future.

Those things, they all matter.

But because they don't always show up in these gigantic dramatic moments,

we sometimes we miss them.

So today's episode is all about that.

Reframing success,

noticing the small wins, and reminding ourselves that growth doesn't happen to be huge,

to be meaningful.

And honestly,

this episode,

it's Kind of like the National School Counseling Week theme,

amplifying student success.

Because success, it doesn't always have to look loud.

Sometimes, my friends,

success whispers.

I think one of the hardest parts of school counseling is that we are working in human growth.

And human growth is messy. It's slow, slow. It's inconsistent, it's emotional. And sometimes it feels almost invisible.

And we live in a world that celebrates dramatic transformations,

the perfect before and afters,

these giant data jumps,

and,

let's face it, inspirational movie endings.

But real counseling work. Sometimes it looks like a student using a coping skill one time after six months of dysregulation.

And sometimes success is a student saying in class instead of walking out.

And sometimes it's a kid who finally says,

you know what? I think I really need some help.

Those things matter.

But I think sometimes we discount those moments because they don't really feel big enough.

And I think we need to stop doing that.

You know what's interesting?

The biggest moments in our students lives often don't feel big when they happen.

Sometimes they feel really tiny.

Like a student lingering at your office door a little longer than usual,

Or a student who used to avoid eye contact and they're suddenly saying, hey, Mrs. Miller.

Or that one kid who spent the whole year refusing to participate,

and they finally raised their hand cross. Growth often happens quietly.

And we're so busy moving from one crisis to the next that sometimes we don't pause long enough to notice it.

I like to think about this one little guy in my school who refers to me as,

are you ready for this? His emotional support person.

I just. I love that. His emotional support person. And every single time his mom tells me,

yeah, he came home and he said he needed an appointment with his emotional support person.

I mean, come on, how adorable is that?

But also,

how meaningful is that?

Because what this little guy is really saying is, I know there's an adult at school who helps me feel safe.

And you know what?

That matters.

I also have this other student who calls me a licensed, literally, listener,

which, honestly,

that might be one of my favorite job titles ever.

But again,

look at the meaning behind that. I mean, these students never say, you changed my life forever.

I mean, that would be pretty cool. But they don't say that.

But in their own little ways, they're telling us, you know, what you really mattered.

And those moments count.

You know, One of the stories that always sticks with me was what happened years after I worked as a high school counselor. I had stopped into McDonald's one day, and one of My former students was working at the counter.

And when he looked up and saw me, I mean, his whole face, it just, it lit up. And he said, oh, Mrs. Miller,

it's so good to see you.

And then he told me something I had honestly completely forgotten.

He said,

I just wanted to thank you for pushing me to go to a four year college.

Because at that time, he and his family really didn't think he was smart enough. Not for college and not definitely for a four year school.

But apparently I had believed he could do it.

And honestly, to me, it didn't feel like some giant life changing counseling moment,

just felt like part of the job.

But to him,

it mattered.

When I saw him,

he was going into his senior year of college.

He had one more year until he graduated and he was home for summer break.

And I won't forget that moment in the McDonald's.

And now I see little glimpses of his life on Facebook.

I see his sweet little family.

I see him in a stable career,

the first house that he and his wife just bought,

and the life that he built for himself.

And every time I see see those things, I just think, wow.

Sometimes we truly have no idea which conversations students carry with them.

I mean, these are moments that might feel really ordinary to us,

but sometimes they can be life changing for someone else.

I often.

I think counselors define success way too narrowly.

We think success has to mean that every goal that we set out was accomplished,

that we resolved every single crisis.

Every student of ours is thriving in every intervention.

Work perfectly.

That last one gets me, because let's face it,

not every intervention works perfectly.

But what if success is actually just progress?

What if success is one healthier choice or one trusted relationship,

one improved coping skill,

one safe space,

or just one reason a student stayed connected to school?

Because honestly, many students are carrying things we will never fully know about.

And for some kids, the fact that they made it through the whole school year at all,

now that's a victory.

And I brought this up earlier.

The theme for Nashville School Counseling this past year was amplifying student success.

And as I was putting together this podcast episode,

for some reason I just thought about that. Amplifying student success.

And even though it's, I don't know, five months later,

four months later. You know why I actually love that phrase,

amplifying student success?

Because amplifying doesn't mean inventing success.

It means noticing it, highlighting it, making it visible.

And we amplify success every day when we encourage students or celebrate small wins,

when we notice their effort Point out their growth,

remind kids that they are capable.

In fact, as I think about my day today,

I definitely encourage students.

I can't tell you how many kids I said, oh my gosh, you are so smart.

I celebrated the little wins with them when they just made it through a full recess without getting into trouble for the day.

And I noticed the effort when the one little first grader made it through the day without having to come into our room because he was falling apart.

Sometimes students borrow our belief in them before they fully believe in themselves.

And honestly, that's really powerful.

That's why words matter so much.

And that's why encouragement matters so much.

Because students remember the adults who saw potential in them before they could see it in themselves.

But friends,

can I say something else?

I think we as counselors also need permission to celebrate our own growth.

Because you probably handled things this year that would have completely overwhelmed you five years ago.

You learned, you adapted, you showed up.

Even when you were tired or overwhelmed,

emotionally drained,

or you're questioning yourself,

you just kept going.

And that matters too.

And sometimes we're so focused on helping students grow that we completely overlook our own growth.

So as this school year starts winding down, I want you to pause and think about the students who trusted you,

the students who came back to your office over and over,

the students who smiled when they saw you,

the students who slowly started believing in themselves.

And this is impact,

even if it doesn't always feel dramatic.

Growth doesn't have to be giant to matter.

And success doesn't always come wrapped in perfect data,

huge transformations, or movie worthy endings.

Sometimes it sounds like,

can I see my emotional support person?

Or thanks for always listening or you made me think I could actually do this.

Those are the moments that remind us why this work matters so much.

So to every counselor out there listening today,

please don't overlook the quiet victories.

They count.

The relationships count, the encouragement counts,

the consistency counts.

You count.

And even when it doesn't feel like enough,

you probably made more of a difference than you realize.

Thank you friends for spending part of your day with me.

And until next time,

I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player.

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Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat.

Bye for now.