141. The School Counselor’s Holiday Survival Guide

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're.

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Carol: Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat.

I'm Carol Miller and if you are listening to this in December,

well,

you have a special place in my heart because I'm sure your December is probably as busy as mine and there's probably no extra moments to spare.

I know this is the time of year that really brings a special kind of energy to our schools. I mean, we have a combination of glitter,

exhaustion,

sugar highs, hallway rehearsals,

and probably at least three different themed spirit days that if you're like me, you forgot about until the morning of.

I mean, it's festive, it's chaotic, and quite frankly, it's a lot.

So today I'm bringing you the counselor's holiday survival guide.

Some practical, realistic and maybe even a laugh or two roadmap to help you navigate December without losing your joy or you're sanity.

But before we talk about solutions,

we need to name the truth.

December in schools is not normal.

Kids are off schedule.

Teachers,

they're burnt out,

parents are overwhelmed,

and counselors.

I mean, come on, we're somewhere between Santa, a therapist, and a crisis firefighter.

So if your school is feeling like a snow globe that just keeps getting shaken,

it's actually quite normal for December.

And you're not doing anything wrong.

It simply is this season.

So let's talk about why this month might be particular stressful for you.

I mean, you, the counselor,

and I think there's a few big reasons.

Classroom lessons are constantly interrupted.

You're putting out more behavior fires than usual.

Classrooms do academics in the morning and let's face it, chaos in the afternoon.

Kids, they have big feelings. There's excitement, there's sadness, there's overstimulation,

grief,

fear,

hope,

you name it,

they're feeling it.

Teachers come to you more often because,

well, everyone is stretched thin.

Parent communication spikes at the same time. Teachers, they need you in classrooms.

You're preparing the data. The mid year meetings,

maybe you're trying to sneak in some January planning and let's face it, and somewhere in there you're supposed to remember to eat lunch.

So if you're feeling extra tired in December,

well, there's a reason for it.

And my friends,

you're in very good company.

So let's just say this is your permission slip and mine to simplify everything.

I mean December is not the month for those Pinterest worthy lessons or elaborate interventions.

It is the month for low prep high impact activities that require very little setup and give students a much needed pause.

And here are some ideas that could work.

Maybe it's just walking into classrooms with the mindful coloring sheet with some soft music.

Maybe it's a quick kindness challenge or a 10 minute gratitude circle.

You could do some really simple check ins like what do you need today?

Or maybe it's a really short video with the discussion like the science of happiness or a quick Games that teach sell without prep.

Your goal right now in this month of the year is not to win Counselor of the season.

Your goal is to get to winter break in just one piece.

So December,

it can come with all of the unexpected.

Those fire drills that seem to come out of nowhere where it is snowing and you gotta go outside the class rehearsals, the pop up assemblies and the ever popular could you just take this kid for just a few minutes?

So here's a few things that can help when all of what you are planning for simply goes out the window.

You need to have a backup plan in your pocket for lessons.

It doesn't matter if you ask ChatGPT for a quick backup lesson, if you go to TPT and download one,

or you log into Perks and you look in the December exclusives and you down one from there but have a backup plan in your pocket.

You might also want to get that calm corner in your room back up restocked and everything else because you're going to have some dysregulated students.

And if you have been like me before in the past,

you need to build in an actual buffer time between classroom lessons because you might not make it from one class to the next to the next to the next because something is always popping up.

So make sure there's some time that you build into your day.

And you also want to remember to expect that things will change at least once a day.

And if you walk into the school with some flexibility and you think of it as your superpower,

I want you to know that December can't knock you over quite as easily.

I also want you to set some boundaries without guilt because this one's hard.

December brings a flood of requests.

And here's the reality.

You can't do everything and you can't be everywhere.

So some gentle boundary scripts you can keep in your back pocket include.

I can help with that after lunch.

Yep, I said that correctly.

I can help with that after lunch because you are still a priority, my friends.

Or let's schedule this for January when I can give it the attention it deserves.

I'm really full this morning, but I can take time tomorrow or it sounds important.

Let's talk about what support is realistic today in my building. We sat down all day today and we have another group of meetings scheduled for Wednesday.

We are where we are just looking at our MTSS behavior students and we have quite the list. And of course as we are talking about students,

of course we have to come up with some interventions.

And I'm looking at my schedule and the 50 million meetings that I have between now and the end of the year and the lessons that we're doing and the inclusion week that we are in and that we're our entire district is doing this week and the book that we decided that we were going to read to every single class this week as part of that inclusion week.

And I'm thinking I don't have time to add all these interventions in right now.

And so we're doing the necessities right now, but some of the groups and the bigger check ins, we're saying we're going to start this after the new year.

And I think having some boundaries and being able to say let's schedule this in January is okay.

Because when we do that, we're not saying no to people.

We're actually just saying yes to your capacity,

your well being and your ability to do your job well.

Our next survival strategy is to really support students who struggle with holidays.

Because not every child sees December as a really joyful season mean some students, they experience grief,

financial stress,

there's family conflict,

there's a lot of unpredictable routines.

We have caregiver exhaustion,

there's separation. So kids are going from one house to the other.

And for so many kids there's such big anxiety around break.

So it's important to help create space for students to really talk privately about these stressors that they're feeling and to remind teachers to avoid assuming everyone celebrates.

I am constantly doing this in my school.

I know that not all of your kids celebrate.

Have you checked in with them?

Is there another activity that they can do as well?

Because not everyone wants to Make a Christmas present for mom.

We also need to help teach coping strategies,

the breathing, the grounding, the journaling,

because some of our kids are going to need that during their break.

And I think it's up to us to offer some quiet, structured activities to help regulate those nervous systems.

Last but not least,

don't force participation in holiday themed activities.

And I know it's fun as much as I hate it. We because not every kid enjoys it.

We have Santa come to our, our school every year.

We play Christmas music over the PA system.

Santa walks through the halls,

he gives candy canes to all the kids.

There's a lot of dancing and singing and it really,

for many, many, many of the kids, it is so sweet and they do love it.

But I always take the kids that don't want to be a part of it or maybe it's too overstimulating, or maybe they are afraid of Santa.

And we stay in my room and we do something else. We like turn the lights down low. I put on the little like fireplace with some very mellow like elevator music in my office.

And it's pretty quiet and it's pretty mellow. And so we do that instead.

And you know, sometimes I think the best gift we give is really emotional safety.

And by offering an alternative to kids, if your school's doing this big like bash is to give our kids some emotional safety.

Another big survival strategy for this time of year is to really build in tiny moments of joy.

And I mean tiny moments of joy for you.

Because this is your holiday season too and you deserve moments that feel warm,

calm or fun.

So while you might be providing the alternative for kids or maybe you're reminding people that not every kid celebrates,

maybe you do and that's fine.

So keep your favorite tea or cocoa in your office.

You can put on some soft music in your room,

maybe even some little, those little twinkle lights.

And plan one thing to look forward to each day,

even if it's not at school.

Create a counselor joy jar.

Write down one good thing daily and don't forget to do a festive but comfy dress day for yourself.

And last but not least for building in those tiny moments of joy is to really celebrate the small wins. Because at this time of the year,

believe it or not, you're going to have a lot of them.

But probably the most important thing that you can do is to just laugh.

I mean, find humor in all of this chaos that's going around because laughter is a built in survival skill for school counselors.

So before we wrap up Today, my friends, let's take a really quick grounding breath together.

If you're in a safe place,

close your eyes.

Otherwise just soften your glaze here for a moment.

Let's take a slow breath in and a long breath out.

Let your shoulders drop,

let your jaw unclench.

Breathe in, calm and breathe out chaos.

You're doing your best,

and truly your best is enough.

Now, December, my friends, it may be messy, but you are strong,

you are capable,

and you are absolutely essential to your school community.

Remember,

simplify what you can,

Brace for the unexpected,

set boundaries with kindness,

hold space for the students who need it,

and give yourself a little joy along the way.

If you found today's episode helpful, I would love if you would share this with a colleague who might need a little survival guide too.

And you're always welcome to hang out with me on Instagram,

counselingessentials or in the Facebook groups because I love hearing how your schools navigate December as well.

Anyway, my friends,

you've got this Winter break is coming and until next time, I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on on your favorite podcast player and if you would be so kind to.

Carol: Leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Carol: Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials. Until next time. Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.