134. How to Build an Anti-Bullying Culture That Lasts Beyond October

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place. Because we're better together.

Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Carol: Hey there counselor friends. Welcome back to Counselor Chat.

I'm your host, Carol Miller. I'm a school counselor, a content creator and recovering Theme week overachiever.

You know what I mean? I mean, October rolls around and suddenly every bulletin board is covered in red,

every hallway is plastered with be a buddy, not a bully. And your inbox is filled with requests to do something for Bullying Prevention Month.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good campaign.

Spirit days, the pledge walls, the kindness change,

they all have their place.

But if we want our schools to truly be safe,

connected and kind communities,

it has to go deeper than matching shirts and hashtags.

So in today's episode,

we are going to be talking all about how to build an anti bullying culture that lasts beyond October.

I mean, we are going to cover what a real anti bullying culture looks like,

how to make it part of your Tier 1 lessons,

how to support at risk students through Tier 2 kindness groups,

and how to create whole school messaging that sticks year round.

So my friends, go grab your coffee, your counselor clipboard, and maybe a sticky note or two because we're about to turn that one week awareness campaign into something that actually changes school culture.

I mean, here's the thing.

Awareness is great.

I do it. I put the bulletin boards up.

I mean, I had a really cute one. This year we read the Jelly Donut difference to all the classrooms.

In art, the kids made these jelly donuts. I mean, they're made out of paper, but still.

We created a bulletin board with all these jelly donuts that says be the jelly and someone's donut fill their day with kindness.

Super cute collaborative board.

Well, here's the thing.

Awareness is great,

but awareness alone doesn't change behavior.

And just because students know bullying is bad doesn't mean that they're going to feel empowered to stop it.

An anti bullying culture isn't built by posters or assemblies.

It's built by relationships.

It's when students trust adults enough to report problems.

It's when our bystanders feel confident to speak up.

And it's when kindness becomes so normal that cruelty feels out of place.

So instead of thinking, what can I do for bullying prevention week? I want you to start thinking,

what can I do this year to build a culture where bullying doesn't thrive?

I mean, that's the shift from events to environment.

So let's start with our tier one, our universal level of support.

I mean, if your school only hears the words bully prevention once a year,

it's really like watering a plant once in October and wondering why it wilts by March.

I mean, you can make your anti bullying concepts part of your regular SEL or classroom lessons by weaving it in themes like empathy,

understanding others, perspectives,

communications, how to disagree respectfully with boundaries, what it means to say no or tell someone to stop,

and digital citizenships,

because kindness and accountability online really do matter.

And with upstander skills, how to safely speak up and get help.

We like to talk a lot about the difference between aggressive, assertive,

and assertive conversations.

You don't even need to label every lesson as anti bullying. I mean, it's about building the skills that prevent bullying in the first place.

For example,

I might do a lesson on tone of voice and the power of words that one ties beautifully into how communication can either lift people up or tear them down.

Or an activity like a kindness challenge,

where classes track kind acts over a week,

then discuss how those small actions impact the entire school climate.

And for my older students, I'll connect it to leadership and emotional intelligence.

Because being a leader sometimes means having the courage to speak up when others don't.

If you make kindness, empathy, and communication part of your ongoing culture and your curriculum,

you're not teaching anti bullying.

You're really teaching human connection.

So let's talk now about Tier 2,

those targeted supports for students who just need a little more.

This is where I really love using a kindness group or some social leadership clubs.

Sometimes I'll invite students who struggle with peer relationships or have been both targets and participants in conflict to join a small group that really focuses on building empathy,

problem solving,

and a positive peer identity.

One of my favorite groups is the Secret Kindness Agents. I mean, our students get to be part of a secret mission to perform acts of kindness around the school, and they do that anonymously.

I mean, it's creative, it's fun, and it gives kids who might otherwise act out a new way to feel powerful and connected.

And I love that I made these into, like, little challenges. It's kind of like Escape room meets the secret mission.

So they have to kind of uncover the clue as to their next job that they have to do.

I could drop a link for that in the show notes. But it is super fun, super cute.

But other two tier ideas can be something like running a building champions group,

that this group really focuses on leadership and respect.

Maybe do a chain reaction based on those little ripple effects of positive behavior.

Maybe even put together a little video. Have your older students make little videos of what it looks like to be kind and patient and sharing and how we talk to maybe a friend that we're in a disagreement with.

Make those videos and show them as part of your classroom lessons to the younger kids.

You will have some instant celebrities in your class,

in your school.

And my goodness, if you want to talk about building culture,

this is it.

And when you do these things, you're really not just addressing bullying behavior.

You are really helping students understand belonging to self worth and most importantly, healthy relationships.

And here's the thing,

sometimes those students, they become your best advocates for kindness later on.

Now let's go big picture. The whole school level,

this is really where visibility,

consistency and leadership, it really matters because one counselor can do a lot.

But when the entire school uses the same language and reinforces the same values,

that's when things really stuck.

Some ideas that go beyond the one week of hype are to maybe create a year round kindness brand.

Something simple, catchy and recognizable like Kindness lives here or we belong.

Use it on posters, morning announcements and school projects.

Every morning our principal says the same last line.

I want you to be good,

learn a lot, but most of all, be good to each other and the kids. We can recite this. In fact, everybody recites this line every day because it's consistent.

You also need to use student voice. Remember how I said let the bigger kids make the videos for the younger ones?

Well, you can also have your kids create morning videos or morning messages about standing up for others.

They can share positive shout outs or they can nominate classmates for some kindness awards.

And let me tell you, staff modeling, that matters too.

Because when teachers publicly celebrate kindness,

not just academics, it really shifts the culture.

Even something as small as saying,

I noticed you helped your classmate.

That's leadership.

And that can really,

really reinforce those values.

And as always,

tie it into data.

If your discipline referrals for peer conflict go down after a kindness campaign,

share that with your admin.

Because it's not just feel good work,

it's climate changing work.

So how do we make sure all of this doesn't fade when November hits.

The key is consistency over complexity.

You don't need a new theme every month,

you just need to revisit the message regularly.

It's kind of like our classroom expectations.

If we if it's a one and done deal,

they're probably not going to stick.

But if we reinforce them every class,

guess what they're going to know.

So when you are talking about an anti bullying culture,

revisit the message regularly.

Keep a kindness calendar or sprinkle in quick reminders of Kindness Wednesday. Shout out on morning announcements.

One monthly Classroom Check in on Relationships,

a quarterly small group focused on empathy or self control.

Make sure you partner with your PBIS team to align those behavior expectations with kindness.

And when you normalize talking about kindness, empathy and inclusion,

it really becomes part of your school's DNA.

That's when you know your work is really making a lasting difference.

So Counselor Friends,

I know October can feel like a whirlwind. I mean the month is basically over.

Red Ribbon Week, Anti Bullying Week, Unity Day. I mean, we had a lot packed in there.

But you don't need to do it all. You just need to do what creates lasting impact.

And you're already doing it. Every time you model empathy, you teach kindness,

or you help a student repair a friendship,

you are the quiet culture keeper in your building.

You may not always see it,

but the work you do shifts the climate of your school one interaction at a time.

So my friends, as you move through the rest of this month, remember,

awareness is just the spark.

But culture change?

That's the flame that keeps you burning all year long.

And until next time, stay kind,

stay steady and keep doing the work that matters because you are building something that lasts.

I hope you have a really great week.

Until next time.

Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast.

Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player. And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at counselingessentials.

Carol: Until next time.

Carol: Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.