54. The Top 10 of Counselor Chat’s First Year

Carol: You're listening to the counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place because we're better together. Ready to chat? Let's dive in.

Carol: Hi everyone, it's Carol. Thank you for being here today for another episode of Counselor Chat and I am just overwhelmed right now. I can't believe it has been one full year. We're celebrating our first birthday here of the counselor chat podcast and it has been pretty amazing. You know, when I started the podcast, I really wanted to share just information with other school counselors. I really love talking to different counselors, hearing their stories, really just promoting the school counselor profession. And if you've been listening and hanging out for a while, you know that I've been doing this job as a school counselor. This is my 32nd year as a full time school counselor in schools. And with that I have done a lot of things. I have been a school counselor of the year for New York State. Last year I was the career achievement award winner. I have presented nationally around the country for not just Aska, but for other national conferences as well, and keynoted for a couple of state conferences. So my career has been, I think, pretty rich and rewarding. I started a blog ten years ago and it was really my way of documenting kind of what I was doing. I had just transferred from the high school to the middle school, and middle school was like a new era for me. It was very different working with fifth and 6th and 7th and 8th graders than it was the juniors and seniors that I was used to working with. And from there, I really needed a way to hold myself accountable for what I was doing and, and what I was going to be working with students on. And it was also a way for me to really remember what I did from one year to the next. And lo and behold, that little blob kind of took off. And from there, I have been connecting with counselors all over the place for a really long time now. And so this podcast has just been another way to really connect and interact and meet and hear, hear different stories. Earlier this year, as a training that I went to in my own district, we heard about the power of a single story. Well, not so much the power of a single story, but what a single story can do. And a single story can really limit our perception of what else is out there. Right? If we've only heard one story, we may only identify that situation with that one story that we've heard of. And I think of that even though that had to do with a person's heritage and history and their race and their nationality, that video that I watched, that training that I was part of, really lent itself, I think, to school counseling as well, and our profession, because I'd been able to hear a lot of stories from people all over the place. And their stories have definitely made an impact on me and the way I work with students and my knowledge base that I now go to for when I'm trying to help work with kids. And I think this podcast is just another way of not having our work be focused on a single story. One way of doing something, one way of looking at it, but to hear from other people's perspectives and insights and what they're doing in their place of work as well. And over the past year, it has been pretty cool to connect with other counselors and hear what they're doing and to hear their advice. And I have to say, when I look back, and I was looking at the downloads of the episodes and which are the most downloaded episodes to date, a lot of the ones that have been popping up were the ones where there were interviews, that there were counselors that I was talking to, and we just learned together. I feel like those not only help me grow, but hopefully they're helping you grow in your profession as well. One of the most downloaded sessions or podcast episodes that we had for this year was episode number 28, which is avoiding tacos with Nancy Willard. And I have to admit, I really love tacos. So just the title of it was, ooh, I got to hear a little bit more about this. But Nancy came on, and she just really shared her experience with working with students, with behaviors, and how we have to really look at the reasons why students become dysregulated so that we can help them to better regulate themselves. And her perspective and her insight on that is pretty awesome. Now, Nancy has worked in a variety of settings, from a special educator, a teacher, to really even working with the law. And so she now has basically a nonprofit where she is really working with parents and schools to really help them understand why students have behaviors and how we can keep ourselves from really getting escalated when we're caught up in that behavior with them because maybe we're in a classroom with the student and they're having their moment, and we are getting frustrated because, well, it's stopping us and preventing us from doing what we have to do. And I think classroom teachers, this happens to them all the time, right? It's not that they are really upset with the kid, but I think they get more upset with not being able to handle the behaviors and the classroom management. They feel like it's out of their control. And really, when kids are having their moments, a not so great moment, it kind of is a little bit out of their control. That behavior is in the kid's hand. If you really want to hear some of Nancy's advice, you really need to go back to episode 28 with avoiding tacos. The number one downloaded episode over this past year was a solo episode, actually, and it also had to deal with undesired classroom behaviors. And that's the title of the episode. It was actually the second episode of this podcast that aired, and it was working with kids with undesired classroom behaviors. So we have to go way far back to last April 5 for this one. But when we're working with kids with undesired classroom behaviors, we really want to feel like we are working in conjunction with the teacher, that we are part of this team, and that child is a. Is a part of our team, too. We have to get their input as to what makes them thrive in their classroom, what makes them work hard, what is really difficult for them, what things can we use to incentivize them when they are having really awesome behaviors? Because kids will work for an incentive that motivates them. And so it's all about learning to really figure out what's going to motivate a student and how we can really incorporate a plan based on their. What motivates them, and try to figure out how we can maybe come up with a behavior plan that will, that will actually work, because if we just say, oh, we want you to, you know, have great behaviors all day long, we'll give you a gold sticker, and then you go home. The kid might not be really interested in a gold sticker for the day. Maybe a day is way too long. So it's all about looking at each student individually and figuring out how we can really work on pro social behaviors, all those great things that they can do and are doing, and really rewarding them for those, so that they have more of those great behaviors than those ones where they're feeling like, hey, I'm losing it here. A little bit. So if you want to hear more about behavior plans and surveys that you can do with kids, you really need to go back to episode two, working with kids with undesired classroom behaviors. The third most downloaded episode was about activities to help kids with anxiety. So if it wasn't behaviors, it was anxiety that I think people really want a little bit of help with. And the next one was that was downloaded was called school anxiety Solutions, technical tips for managing tears at drop off. And that was an interview with Ashley Bartley. And Ashley shared all about some tips that she uses with kids when they are facing these really big moments of anxiety. You know, walking into a school building for a lot of kids is really stressful. And so anxiety is something that I think a lot of counselors are struggling with. And even when I go into the Facebook groups, I think anxiety kids and anxiety, these things come up a lot. Whether it's a kid that maybe is suffering from selective mutism or from school avoidance or even just drama that's going on in the classroom, our kids really, they could use some help with addressing anxiety. And so teaching them some coping skills and helping them to understand how to regulate their emotions, or even what triggers their emotions, I think, is something that we need to really work on and help our students with. I always like teaching kids how to understand their brain and knowing that their emotions all have different jobs. So whether we're happy, the job that happy has is to really let us know that we enjoy something where as if we are feeling sad. Well, sad's job is to tell us maybe what we're missing or something that we feel is not with us, that we really want it to be. So if we're sad, we're typically missing something, and if we're fearful, that's trying to keep us safe. So all our emotions have jobs, and so we have to figure out what jobs our emotions have and what do we need? What are our emotions trying to tell us? What are we actually looking for? And when kids can really start to process what they need, then they're able to really regulate some of their emotions and to put into words and express, hey, you know what? This is how I'm feeling. This is what I need, because this is really what's going on. I'm missing somebody, or I'm missing something, or I'm feeling like my world is kind of spiraling out of control. Right? I feel stressed because of whatever. So helping kids, I think, with some vocabulary and understanding, really helps with that anxiety. Another great episode was episode 19. Motivational interviewing for school counselors, and that was with Regan north and Reagan. North is a counselor educator, and he is really all about the motivational interviewing. Reagan has been using motivational interviewing for a long time, and motivational interviewing is really great. Not so much with the littler types. I mean, I suppose you could do it with them. But I know Reagan will also say that it's really great for probably middle school through high school age kids. And it really is a series of how you're asking questions to where you're kind of like interviewing the kids and finding out what's motivating them, what drives them to their decision making, what motivates them to. To do certain things, and then using what motivates them to help them make changes to their behaviors. So if a kid isn't coming to school, well, what is the motivation there for them to come? Like, what would be important in their lives to say, well, maybe, you know, if I started going, my grandma would be really proud of me. What I do, I want to do for her. So it's getting to the heart of really what drives a student towards certain behaviors. Certain, we want to say, positive behaviors. So that was a really interesting conversation. So if you want to hear about motivational interviewing, go back to episode 19. Episode 32 was another one. It was also in the top ten of most downloaded episodes. And 32 was teaching kids how to be or really not be someone's friend. And you might be familiar with this because this was, I think, pretty popular. I think it was a video from a middle school teacher. I want to say it was on TikTok. I don't have TikTok, so I'm not 100% sure where it came from. But I want to say it was TikTok. I saw it, I think, on Facebook. But this middle school teacher, how she went on to really teach her kids that, you know what? You don't like someone, that's fine. You don't have to like everyone. You don't have to be their friend, but you really have to be respectful. And it goes on to really just talk about what you can do to really help teach kids how not to be friends with someone. So you don't have to, if you're in a conflict with somebody, drag people onto your side so that you're pinning groups of people against other groups of people. You don't have to talk badly about someone because everyone deserves to have a friend, everyone deserves to feel safe, everyone deserves to feel really welcome in school. And so it's all about things that you can talk to kids about to just be respectful of one another. And I know I did a lesson on that in the beginning of the year and it went over really well because our kids were, I mean, they were talking about each other, they were saying some things that really weren't. It wasn't nice. And so we. I did a lesson on how to not be friends with someone. And the kids really were like, oh, yeah, I should probably do that. I should think about that a little bit. Another highly downloaded episode in the top ten was teaching students about race and racism in elementary school. And that was with Kristen Moffat. And Kristen is an elementary school counselor, and she went on to really just share some of her lessons that she does in her elementary school about race and racism. And it really comes down to really giving kids the vocabulary about what race is, what racism is, what is fair, what is justice, what is equal, and all those terms so that kids are really familiar with. It's about looking at someone's identity and really embracing, having them embrace who they are and to celebrate what makes them unique. And so Kristen offers some really good lessons. And in that episode, there are lots of links of items that she shared. So that was a really, really great episode. And then speaking of people that I interviewed, I also interviewed a couple times, Mallory Jacobs, and both of her interviews are in the top ten. One was episode 33, adding fun to your counseling lessons. And the other interview with Mal was episode 44, what am I supposed to do for national School counseling week? And I know that school counseling week is over, but if you are listening to this well into the future, and maybe it's February of 2025 or whatever year it might be, you probably want to go back and listen to Mallory talk about what some ideas that you can do during national school counseling week, which really don't have to break the bank. I mean, you can just do these with no budget. Some of the things that she had, she did buy some little trinkets and things to give out to her faculty, but you don't have to do that. It's really just about having fun, promoting the profession and really why it's so important to do so. But then in episode 33, Mal and I talked all about adding fun to your counseling lessons. And the one thing that still sticks out to this day is how she always tells her kids that not every day is awesome, but there's something awesome in every day. And I think that's a really powerful statement to tell kids. Mal and I also talked a lot about different books and just different ideas that you can do with kids. Mal is pretty animated, so if you really want to have some fun and spice up your lessons, you have to really go back to episode 33. I'm trying to think of the books. One was the purple people, and there was a few others. All are welcome. Here was another book that Mel talks about. It's a really good episode. So episode 33, adding fun to your counseling lessons. And then last but not least, we have a lot of advice to counselors, from counselors. And I think this is powerful because like I said, we in the very beginning of this episode that it's not a single story. You know, it can't just be what we're doing and the little bubble that we might be in. Right? I know that I was a lonely soul counselor for most of my career. For most of those 33 years, it was just me without a co counselor. And it can be pretty lonely, it can be pretty isolating, and you get stuck with just the limited knowledge base that, that you're surrounded with, which is usually just you. If you're lucky, you might have a local counseling association that you go to. Maybe you go to your state conference or ask, but those things are only, they only happen once a year. Your local might meet like once a month, but you might not be able to get out of your building all the time. So it's really great to hear what other counselors are doing. And a lot of the advice that counselors gave were to make sure that you take time for yourself. Eat your lunch, take a break, leave work at work. That there's always more work, but there's not always more time. You can't make that up. So leave it there. At the end of the day, go home and be present. No matter where you are, be present if you're with yourself. Kids at school, be present with them. If you are with your teachers, be present with them. If you are with your admin, be present with them. If you are with your family at home, be present with them. So just be present with who you're with. And don't be afraid to give yourself grace, because we're not always perfect. We don't always have a lot of time. We do have the days that are like the. They are bad days. And so it's okay to give yourself some grace, but eat lunch, use your calendar, make a to do list, and go home when it's time to go home. So those were some of the most downloaded episodes. I am going to leave links for all of those. If you want to go back and check them out if you haven't heard them. Or maybe you're like, oh, yeah, I want to revisit that. You can go back to the show notes and download those links or click on the links and go to those episodes because they were really good and I think that you really will like them anyway. I really, I can't believe once again that it has been a full year, a full year. And if you are listening to this podcast, it would really mean a lot to me if you left a review and helped this podcast grow a little bit more because your reviews actually do that. And to spice things up a little bit, if you leave a review and you screenshot it and you send it to me, and by leaving a review, it means that you're going to have to go to Apple podcasts. Click on Counselor chat podcast. Scroll about halfway down the page to where it says leave a review. You're going to have to click on the stars and then type something in and hit submit. And if you do that, but before you hit submit, you do a little screenshot so that it shows up because the reviews will come out probably like 24, 48 hours later. But if you screenshot your review and you send it to me carolingessentials.org I'm going to send you a gift card for a coffee because it would mean a whole lot to me. And when I think of this podcast, I really feel like we're sitting down for some coffee with some friends. And if you don't drink coffee, use it by yourself with doctor pepper or Diet Coke or whatever it is that you drink. And we could sit down again next week, but I would love it if you'd left a review. So, my friends, thank you so much. Happy birthday, counselor chat. And I can't wait to celebrate birthday number two with you next year. Anyway, until next week. Have a great week. Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and@counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit, follow, or subscribe on your favorite podcast player. And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it.

Carol: Want to connect?

Carol: Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at counseling essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.