175. The Counselor Introduction Lesson Students Actually Need

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I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

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Hi everyone and welcome back to Counselor Chat.

This is the podcast where we talk all about the real work of school counseling,

some practical ideas that you can use,

and ways to make your counseling program work better for both you and and your students.

I'm your host, Carol Miller, and today we're talking about something I think every school counselor should do at the beginning of the year.

And that's a counselor introduction lesson.

Now, trust me, I know what some of you may be thinking.

My students already know me.

Or I have so many other things I need to do to get started.

Or maybe it's I usually just pop into classrooms, introduce myself,

explain confidentiality, and then move on.

And like I said,

trust me,

I know because I used to think the same things.

But here's the thing. Over the years,

I've learned that that first lesson is so much more.

I really believe the counselor introduction lesson is one of the most important Tier one things that we can do at the beginning of the school year.

Because before students will come to us for help,

they need to know three things.

Who we are,

how we can help,

and how to actually reach us.

We cannot assume students know those things.

Even students who have been in the same building for years may not fully understand what the counselor does.

And here's the thing. I have been in my building for,

oh,

several years now and I go into classrooms weekly for lessons. Plus I'm in classes for other things as well.

But there are times I'll call a kid down, I'm like, send so and so to my room.

And the kid says, I don't know where your office is.

And here's the thing,

I give them a quick little tour at the beginning of the year,

but they're not coming into my class for the lessons I'm pushing into theirs.

So we have to kind of review this information every single year.

As far as our new students or younger students and students who have never needed counseling support before,

our role can actually be a complete Mystery as well.

So when we start the year with this introduction lesson, it really gives every student equal access to that very important information.

It also helps take away some of the stigma around counseling.

And instead of students thinking you only go to the counselor when something is really wrong,

they begin to understand that the counselor is really part of the school community and someone that they can go to for support,

problem solving, planning, and help.

And maybe most importantly,

you're building that level of comfort before a student is in crisis,

because it's much easier to walk into the office as someone you already know than someone you've never met.

So today I want to talk about what students actually need from that first introduction lesson.

And spoiler alert,

it's not a 30 slide presentation about the school counseling program.

The first thing that students need to know, it's pretty simple.

Who are you?

Tell them your name.

Show them where your office is.

Is, like I said,

if you're always going into their room,

they may forget where you're located.

But show them where your office is. Give them a little tour.

Tell them something small about yourself.

Maybe it's your favorite ice cream, maybe it's that you have a pet.

Maybe you love a certain sport.

I mean, you don't need to share your whole life story,

but you're simply giving students something that makes you feel like a real person instead of another adult with the title.

And for our younger students,

this is so important because the word counselor can feel very abstract.

So instead of starting with the definition, start with connection.

Because before a student decides to talk to us,

they have to feel comfortable with us and explain what you do using real student problems.

This is probably the biggest change I would make to most counselor introduction lessons. Skip the professional language.

We know that school counselors support academic, career,

and social emotional development.

But our kids, our students, they don't need to memorize that.

They need to know when they might actually come see us.

And for an elementary student, that might be, maybe you're having trouble with a friend,

maybe you're feeling worried,

Maybe something has changed at home.

Maybe you're having a hard time calming down.

Maybe school feels really hard right now.

And for older students, you might add stress,

grades,

relationships, family problems,

college and career planning,

decision making,

feeling overwhelmed, or even worrying about a friend.

The more specific you are, the easier it is for students to recognize their own situation.

Because a student probably is not thinking, I need social emotional support,

even though I have one little buddy at school that calls me his emotional support person.

Most kids, they're not thinking that but they are thinking, my best friend isn't talking to me.

And that's the language we need to use.

Also, make sure to answer the question,

am I in trouble?

Because I think this is one of the most important things we can address directly.

A lot of students can assume that if the counselor asked to see them, they did something wrong.

And if you've been a counselor for a while, you know, kids will come into your office and they're like, am I in trouble?

No, sweetheart, you're not in trouble.

And honestly, that belief, did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?

That comes from how schools sometimes use counseling.

If students only see people being sent to the counselor after a behavior problem,

it's easy to understand why they make that connection.

So be sure to say it clearly.

Coming to the counselor does not mean you are in trouble.

You might come because you asked for help.

Your teacher might think you could use support.

Your family might have asked me to check in,

or I might.

Or I may just want to see how you're doing.

Because we want students to really see counseling as support and not punishment.

And the earlier we establish that message, the better.

We also want to teach them exactly how to get help.

And this is another area where we sometimes assume way too much.

We tell students, if you need me, come see me.

But what does it actually mean?

Can they walk out of class? Do they fill out a form? Do they tell their teacher? Use a QR code? Send an email?

Put their name in a counselor mailbox?

Whatever your system is, show them.

Be very specific.

You might say, if you need to talk to me, here are the three ways you can let me know and then walk them through it.

And also tell them what to do if something is super urgent.

Students should not have to figure out your referral process when they are already upset.

You also want to explain confidentiality very simply.

Of course, an introduction lesson needs to include this.

You have to really talk about confidentiality.

And with the little loves, I love to have them say it three times as fast as they can,

because I just like how it sounds. It's kind of fun.

But the explanation really should match the age of your students.

And for younger students, something like most of what you tell me of what you tell me stays private. But if you tell me someone is hurting you, you want to hurt yourself, you want to hurt someone else, or you're not safe, I need to get another grownup to help and explain why,

because my job is to help keep you safe.

You might also want to give them examples of what that Looks like if you came and told me that last night there was a fire in your house,

I might. I might call home because I want to see and make sure that everyone else is fine,

that you're okay, and that you have what you need. And maybe there's some ways that I can offer help.

Or if you tell me that you never have any food at home,

I might have to call and talk to somebody about that because my job is to make sure that you.

That you're safe.

Or it could be maybe another kid is picking on you.

And I might have to talk to the principal if I think that this is really serious because I might need their help for this situation too.

With the older students, you can provide a little bit more detail,

but still we're going to keep that message clear. I respect your privacy.

I'm not going to share everything you tell me,

but I can't keep something private if someone may be in danger.

And I also like telling students that whenever possible,

I will talk with them about what happens next.

That helps students feel like they're part of the process.

Instead of feeling like they lose all control of the moment, they share something important at this time. I usually like to remind kids,

listen.

I might even ask you, is it okay if I share it with this information with your teacher?

And that's up to you to decide.

Sometimes that information is helpful for them, too.

So I like to make sure that they're included in that process.

Also, let them know that their problem doesn't have to be huge.

And this is like, this is a message I think students really need to hear.

You don't have to wait until everything falls apart to ask for help.

Sometimes students think this isn't serious enough or other people have bigger problems,

I should just deal with it.

And then that small problem becomes a huge problem.

So let students know that they can come early.

Come when the friendship problem starts. Come when the worrying is beginning.

Come when school starts feeling overwhelming.

Come when you're not sure what to do.

You don't have to wait for a crisis.

That message alone can make your counseling program feel much more accessible.

And also let students know that they can get help for a friend.

I like to include that students what students should do if they're worried about someone else,

because sometimes the peers are the first ones to know if someone's thinking about some serious topics like completing suicide or running away from home or something that's happening at home.

So let kids know that if they're worried about someone else, that they don't have to carry the weight of all that themselves.

And this also gives you a great opportunity to talk about the difference between trying to get someone in trouble and trying to get someone to help.

I know I talk about it with our kids every single year. You know,

some secrets are safe secrets and some secrets, they're not so safe. And if you're really, really worried, maybe it's not the safest secret to keep to yourself.

Sometimes those are the ones that you need to share because getting help for someone really is not the same as getting them in trouble.

And our students, they need permission to understand that we also want to take away some of the mystery of what happens when they come to counseling.

So tell them.

Tell them you might talk,

draw,

play cards,

play a game,

practice some coping strategies,

solve a problem,

make a plan.

And for our older kids, maybe it's talking through options,

planning what to say to a teacher, or figuring out the next step.

The goal is simply to make counseling feel less mysterious.

And predictability. It helps our students feel safer.

And please do not spend the whole lesson talking at kids.

Make it interactive.

And you can make this really simple.

Do a thumbs up or a thumbs down activity.

Would this be something that you could talk to your counselor about?

I had a fight with my friend.

Thumbs up. I'm nervous about a test.

Thumbs up.

I don't know what to do after high school.

Thumbs up.

You can use scenario cards, counselor trivia A. Would you go to the counselor game or even puppets with the younger kids?

I do like to play.

I have a tic tac toe game that I like to play with questions on one sides and the x's and the o's on the other.

Kids love it. It's super fun. And I also have some little like trivia games for the computer that are awesome too.

And I'll put links for those in the show notes in case you want to check them out for ideas.

You also want to give your kids three things to remember because students, they're not going to remember everything that you tell them.

So decide what you really want to stick.

Maybe your three messages are you can ask for help. You are not in trouble for coming to the counselor and I will always take your safety seriously.

And that's enough.

If students leave your lesson knowing those three things,

you've done something really important.

And this is why I think starting the year with a counselor introduction lesson is so valuable.

You're not just explaining your job, you're really creating access.

You are making counseling feel normal. You're reducing uncertainty.

You are helping students understand how to get support before they need it.

You're building a relationship before a difficult moment comes.

And months from now, a student may be sitting in class trying not to cry.

Their parents may be separating, a friendship could be falling apart.

They may be scared about school,

may be worried about a friend.

Maybe they don't know what to do after graduation.

And in that moment,

I don't need them to remember my definition of a school counselor.

I need them to remember I know who the counselor is, I know how to reach them, and I think they might be able to help me.

And that's the goal.

So my friends, as you're planning for the beginning of the year,

don't skip the counselor introduction because you think the students already know you.

Give yourself that opportunity to reconnect,

remind them what you do,

show them exactly how to get help,

and make sure that every student begins the year knowing there is an adult in the building that they can turn to.

Because the counselor introduction lesson isn't really about introducing your program.

It's about introducing students to the idea that they don't have to handle everything alone.

So, my friends, thank you so much for joining me today on Counselor Chat. And until next time, I hope you have a really great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and@counningessentials.org

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Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.