170. Dear Tired Counselor: You’re Allowed to Rest From Being Tired

You're listening to the Counselor Chat Podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy.

I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling Essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students.

If you're looking for a little inspiration to help help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're

in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor Chat.

If you're new around here,

I'm your host, Carol Miller, and I'm so glad that you're here with us today.

And if you are listening to this episode in July,

there is a good chance you are officially on summer break.

You may be on vacation.

Maybe you're sitting by a pool.

Maybe you're catching up on laundry.

You might even be driving your kids somewhere.

Some of you might be working a summer job and you may be watching the days of July move by just a little bit too quickly.

And some of you may be doing absolutely nothing.

And I hope at least some of the time that you all are doing absolutely nothing.

Because today's episode is for the tired counselor who is technically on break but still feels tired.

Maybe you ended the school year exhausted.

Maybe you thought that once summer started you would instantly feel restored,

but instead you slept for three days,

cleaned one thing,

answered one email you probably should not have answered,

and then wondered why you still did not feel refreshed.

So today I want to give you a different kind of summer permission slip.

Not permission to start planning next year.

Not permission to organize your office.

Not permission to attend every training,

rewrite every lesson,

or create a brand new counseling program before August.

Today I want to give you permission to rest from being tired.

Because there's a difference,

I think. Sometimes we think that rest means simply not being at work.

But being away from school does not automatically mean that our minds and our bodies have caught up.

You can be on vacation and still be tired.

You can be sitting outside in the sunshine and still be carrying the stress of the school year.

You can be off the clock and still replaying student conversations,

wondering about the kids you worry about or mentally making next year's to do list.

And that doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.

It means you had a really full year.

It means you carried a lot.

It means your body and brain may need a little time to realize that they do not have to be in survival mode right now.

So, my dear tired counselor,

you are allowed to rest from being tired.

You're allowed to let your nervous system slow down.

You are allowed to stop bracing for the next interruption.

You are allowed to not check your email.

And you are allowed to let a few days pass without fixing,

planning, organizing,

responding,

or helping anyone solve a problem.

You're allowed to just be off.

And I know that can feel harder than it sounds.

Because let's face it, school counselors, your helpers,

we're used to being needed. We're used to being the people who answer the questions, solve the problems, calm the students, support the teacher, call the parent, facilitate the meeting, find the resource, and just keep moving.

We are used to being in motion.

And so when the school year ends, sometimes our bodies stop before our minds do.

We may still feel guilty for resting.

We may still think about all the things we should be doing.

We may see the social media posts from people who have already organized their offices,

plan their first month of lessons,

redesign their small groups, and color coded every single thing in their lives.

And suddenly we think,

oh, maybe I should be doing more.

But let me gently remind you,

you do not have to turn your summer into another school year.

You do not have to earn rest by completing a giant productivity list first.

And you do not have to prove that you are dedicated by spending every free moment preparing for September.

You can be a wonderful counselor and take a break from counseling.

In fact, taking a break may be exactly what helps you come back to the work with more patience, more creativity,

more perspective, and more energy.

Because rest is not a reward for finishing everything.

You will never finish everything.

There's always going to be another lesson to plan, another student to think about,

another system to improve,

another email to answer.

Well, maybe five more emails to answer,

another resource to create another thing you could do.

Summer doesn't have to be about doing all the things you could do.

It can be about doing some of the things that help you feel like yourself again.

Maybe that's sleeping in,

reading a book that has nothing to do with education.

Maybe it's sitting outside,

going somewhere new,

seeing friends.

Maybe that's spending time with your family,

watching a show without multitasking,

taking a walk,

eating ice cream on a Tuesday afternoon just because you can.

Maybe it's not knowing what day it is for a little while.

I mean, I love that. Wake up. What day is it? And you know what? That's allowed.

Maybe rest does not look peaceful every day.

Because let's Face it, you might have some kids at home.

You might have caregiving responsibilities.

Maybe you're working that second job sometimes. Maybe summer brings its own stressors.

And maybe your break is not as long as people think.

Maybe you are still tired even though you are not in the building,

and that's okay too.

This is not about creating a perfect summer,

but it is about finding small moments where you can let yourself stop carrying everything.

Even 10 minutes can make a huge difference.

10 minutes without checking email.

10 minutes outside.

10 minutes in the car before you walk in the house.

10 minutes with a cup of coffee before everyone else wakes up.

That might be my personal favorite.

10 minutes where no one needs anything from you.

Small movement,

small moments of rest count.

And I think sometimes we forget that we don't have to solve our whole lives in summer either.

We do not have to decide exactly what next year will look like.

We don't have to figure out every professional goal.

We don't have to fix every unfinished thing from last year.

And we do not have to carry all of our student stories into July.

There may be students you still think about, and there may be situations that ended without the closure you wanted.

There may be things that you wish could have gone differently.

And there may be data points you wish looked better.

Maybe the projects that never got finished.

Students you worry about.

That's hard.

Here's your permission slip.

You can care about students without carrying every concern every day of summer.

And you can trust that you did what you could with what you had.

And you can let some questions remain unanswered.

You can let the school year be imperfect.

You can leave some things unfinished.

And you could believe that your impact still mattered.

Sometimes our impact isn't obvious.

It's not in the data.

It's not in the lesson plan.

It's not in the completed intervention or a measurable outcome.

Maybe it's the student who kept coming back because they felt safe in your office,

the one who learned one coping skill.

The teacher who felt supported,

the parent who felt heard.

Sometimes it's in a conversation that you barely remember, but a student carries with them for years.

You might not always get to see the full impact of your work.

Doesn't mean that it's not there.

So before you rush into preparing for the next school year, take a little time to honor the one you just finished.

Maybe ask yourself three gentle questions.

First,

what is one moment from the school year that I want to remember?

Was it a student breakthrough? A group that went well? A kind note?

Second,

what is one thing you want to release?

Is it guilt comparison?

An unfinished project?

The belief that you need to fix everything?

And third,

what is one small thing I want to carry into next year?

Not a huge overhaul, not 10 goals,

just one small thing.

Maybe it's protecting your lunch once a week,

or trying a new circle question.

Maybe it's asking for a training or setting a better email boundary.

Maybe it's remembering to give yourself more grace,

one small thing is enough.

And then let yourself go back to summer because August will come soon enough.

You don't have to borrow stress from it now.

And when August gets here, you'll just handle August.

You will have started school years before,

or you have started school years before.

You have figured things out before and you have handled first days, new schedules, changing caseloads, new student needs and unexpected curveballs before,

and you're going to do it again.

But today you do not have to live in August.

Today you can just be in July.

You can be where your feet are and you can let summer be summer.

So my dear tired counselor friend,

you have the permission to sleep.

The take a break from email to do things that have no productive purpose.

To enjoy your family, your friends, your home, your hobbies, your quiet, your naps. Oh, the naps.

And of course the ice cream.

And you have permission to say no to things that drain you.

And you have permission to remember that you are more than your role.

You are not just the person who handles crises or the person that supports everyone else.

You're a whole person.

And that whole person deserves care too.

So my friends,

take the walk, take the nap, read the book,

call the friend,

sit outside,

leave the email alone and let yourself rest from being tired.

Because summer is not something you have to earn by being exhausted.

It's a season you are allowed to receive.

So until next time,

I hope you take that nap.

Have a great week.

Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player.

And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really, really appreciate it.

Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat.

Bye for now.